The Learning Zone is a concept many of us in Parelli are familiar with, both in regards to our horsemanship, and our own persoanl growth. When I was in Florida for my externship, Oct 15-Dec 10 2010, Linda Parelli asked me if I would like to ride with her during my time there. WOW!! What a huge opportunity :)
At first I was OVER the moon excited. WE had a few rides, and I was riding Remmer (before his injury obviously). Linda was helping me with my possition, and lots and lots of excercises to help Rem get more balanced, and engaged, as we have all seen his STRONG LBI nature. It was really incredible.
Now, those of you that know me, know that Finesse, is NOT my strong point :) I STRUGGLED to help my mare get to a point where we could film the old Level 3, and since then I haven't done much finesse at all! Between doing young horse development at Atwood Ranch, and teaching lessons, I have been able to succesfully avoid playing with contact pretty much at all! Well... not so when you ride with Linda!
For the first week I did well; I was learning lots, sore in muscles I didn't know I had, and starting to grasp some theories that I had never truly understood before. Plus, I was in heaven, getting the chance to ride, big, beautiful moving warmbloods for hours every day, chatting with Linda Parelli, and Lyndsey Fitch! I should have been in 7th heaven...
So, why this blog? Well, a funny thing started to happen. Voices in my head started to say...you aren't good enough for this opportunity... you dont deserve this... you are taking this opportunity from someone who could do more with it, would enjoy it more, would benifit more. I seriously considered asking not to ride with Linda and Lydsey anymore :(
WOW, how interesting?!?! So I began to step back, and ask myself why I was feeling this way? Why did I all of a sudden believe I wasn't good enough? Luckily I was able to voice my thoughts to Lyndsey, and also to Kerryn (And later down the road to Linda too!) Both Lyndsey and Kerryn knew me well enough to say... in so many words... that that was a bunch of BS!
It took a bit more personal growth and development for me to finally realize that, I think, all of those feelings were simply coming from being in the learning zone! Linda and Stephanie Burns talk so much about how it can be an uncomfortable place, and boy are they right! I realized that in my everyday Parelli Journey with my Levels mare, or my students, I am happy to push myself into that learning zone, and I know its uncomfortable, and I can just relax and say, its just cause im trying to figure something out. Not so when it came to Finesse, so many little demons got inside my head and were telling me so many things to ruin my self-confidence.
Through support from my friends, and an eventual commitment to truly TRUST THE PROCESS I was able to get through these feelings and believe that I deserved the opportunity of learning from Linda. I was able to really say, its ok that it feels uncomfortable, Im just learning! And once I said that to myself it was totally liberating :)
Of course parts of me wishes I didn't have to go there and feel those feeligns, but I am also profoundly grateful. Now I have such a stronger grasp on what students in this program must feel as they push themselves to learn more and more. I know that this emotional exerience, AS WELL as everything I learned during the amazing 8 weeks I got to ride with Linda have made me a stronger horsewoman, teacher, and woman :) And now I can't wait to go back!!
No comments:
Post a Comment