Better Leadership Through Game of Contact

WOW what a breakthrough day today with Linda! So as many of you know ... I've recently jumped head first out of my comfort zone (at least that's how it feels!) into the study of the elusive fourth savvy, Finesse.

Photo by Coco

My wonderful partner and teacher, a grey Arabian mare, Damo, charts as an extreme Right Brain Extravert ... just a tad more extreme than me ;). Which can either go really well, or really poorly depending on the day and my own level of personal development.

For the last 4 weeks with Linda we have been playing with Stage 1 and 2. Now we've also been away on tour and lots of other stuff so we haven't had that much consistency, but Im petrified of contact, and my mare has some fairly intense feelings about the bit as well, (Surprise, Surprise!). So we've been plugging on building confidence and trust as I build better posture and better hands, attempting to avoid her usual tendencies with the bit which were teeth grinding and well ... taking off with me! We had a minor set back which you can read about in my last blog if you're interested where she actually began to refuse to bridle; but besides that we have steadily been making progress, and learning together every day.

On the flip side, Linda has also been really pushing me to be a better leader FreeStyle. My tendency is to float somewhere between having a plan and being a passenger. So Linda has begun coaching me on getting a "light seat forward canter" which of course REALLY tests my leadership as Damo gets way impulsive and starts to think about running off. Then when I loose that mental connection she also begins to get really spooky, making her pretty challenging to ride. So I've been playing lots of approach and retreat and going back to patterns like the Figure 8 and Bullseye to get her mind back to me and our impulsion organized again every time we go for a fast canter. Again, I've been slowly making progress and its been getting better and better ... but slowly!

Photo by Coco

This is a recent adventure where as you can see

I had too much GO and not enough WHOA!

Photo by Coco

You can also see what happens even in the halter 

when I block Zone 1 when she gets impulsive.

So as your reading this you may wonder how these two trains of thoughts intersect ... well SO DID I UNTIL TODAY! Today I said to Linda that I thought I was ready to play with the flying change piece of the forward canter, and she said she would help me through it. So Damo and I got a really nice forward canter going on the Question Box Pattern. Then I changed the flexion and the weight in my stirrups and headed onto the other circle ... and yikes up came her adrenaline, she changed in front and not behind, spooked fairly violently at the mounting block, and I could feel I was on a bit of a runaway. I half yelled to Linda what to do, and she basically said, ignore it, "shorten your reins, and have a stronger focus!"

I did what she asked and we got on the correct lead and came around the circle again. I shortened my reins and was able to ask Damo to have correct flexion on the circle and act like a partner. Then we came through the box again and I changed my focus, changed her flexion, weighted my stirrup, and we got a perfect change ;). It was my first flying change, on purpose, without micro-managing, that felt soft, in control, and just plain FUN!

Photo by John Sinclair

The coolest thing to me though was the moment before that. When my RBE had her energy, life and adrenaline up, in the past I have always had to slow things down ... revert to patterns and get her confidence back by breaking it down that way. Today I was able to shorten the reins, take more leadership, and re-direct her! In the past she would have felt completely blocked in Zone 1, and by doing that I would have made the problem WORSE for sure! (As you can see from the photos above!!)

For me that moment completely solidified me on how amazing Stage 1 and 2 of Game of Contact really is for horses. My mare felt like a different horse today, and without this incredible breakthrough of Linda's Game of Contact I don't think we ever would have gotten to this place. I know have a completely different tool available to use in my Freestyle riding because Damo no longer feels like the bit is a barrier. I can hold hands with her and offer her more leadership that way. Now I just have to keep playing with getting that feeling in Finesse too! Can't wait to continue the journey, and thanks so much for your help today Linda!!

Photo by Coco

Lessons from Linda Land: Processing Feedback

Well I had a lot to write about today, so I thought I'd share with you all a bit about a "Day in Linda Land."!

Today for me ... was all about becoming better at processing feedback. From peers and instructors ... and most importantly, from yourself and your horse!

My day started this morning with some pretty TOUGH feedback from my beautiful Arabian partner, Andiamo. She has been with me for 13 years now, I rescued her when she was 6 months old, and we pretty much grew up together. In that ... I always know, that everything she does poorly is my fault :(. On the converse, everything she does well is my fault too!! Anyway, at this point we are BOTH pretty anxious about Finesse and contact; luckily Im in the right place for that, and Linda and Marion have been helping us slowly unravel our anxiety and find calmness and connection in contact! Super cool! We have been playing with aspects of contact and riding with the bit for the last 2 weeks.

One part of this that Marion has helped me play with is getting some exuberance in her bridling. She is VERY obedient and will put her head down and allow me to bridle her softly ... but she doesn't seek the bit at all. Through cookies, and some approach and retreat, and truly setting it up so bridling is a GAME, I was starting to be able to hold the bridle out, and have her actually bridle herself! Stick her nose through the headstall, and open her moth and take the bit. Very cool stuff. Well... until today anyway ;(.

So as I mentioned we've been playing in the bit and contact for the last two weeks, all just Stage 1 and 2, building her confidence, plus a bit of freestyle steady rein style on the patterns. I thought her anxiety was diminishing and we were really making progress. But today when I offered her the bridle she turned her head the other way ;(. I played the game for a bit, but the best I could get was back to obedience. Even with the bit places with the cookie DIRECTLY under it, under her nose, she wouldn't open her mouth to take the bit/cookie ;(. Now, I obviously could have put my thumb into her mouth and she very willingly would have participated, but I want better than that. To me she was saying clear as a bell ... "Even that cookie is NOT worth opening my mouth for the bit." ;(

Phew! Big deep breath ... and realization! Now, my goal is to be able to process that feedback without emotion, but that's HARD. I was devastated! I thought I was on the right track ... and helping her to understand and not be afraid of the bit, but clearly my hands haven't been good enough, and there is something Im doing that is causing her not to want to be a partner.

So, after the emotions, and being super upset at myself for not having seen it earlier, and not being more savvy ... then I can start to process it. I realized that feedback is what makes me a better horseman. Whether its TOUGH feedback from my horse, encouraging feedback from my horse, or thoughts and advice from other horseman. Its all what helps us improve and we just have to figure out how to process it and learn from it!